Welcome to the Imerman Kidisms blog - the place we record (for posterity, hilarity, sharity, or any other -arity) the wonderful wisdoms our kids generate. We hope this brings a smile or a chuckle to your day. See our other blog, Knock Knock

Saturday, June 30, 2012

I gotta go poo poo

Elliott is walking around buck naked just now saying this. So we are proud, and Lisa takes him to the toilet. I go searching for his diaper, which is on the floor by the vent. As I bend down, I smell it but the diaper is clean. I don't know where it is coming from, so I ask. He says he pooped in the vent. Sure enough, it's down there!!

Friday, June 22, 2012

Hagamer

Elliott is having hagamers and French fries for dinner. With keppitch.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

That's not fair!

Elliott is 2 months shy of 3. Before dinner he had a huge cookie in one hand and a cupcake in the other. He was so cute I only took the cupcake away, but he cried, and ran off into the other room saying "that's not fair!"

I want kissahug

Elliott uses this as a delay tactic when going to bed, or just when he wants them.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Elliott Knock-knock #2

Knock knock
Who's there
Elliott
Elliott who
Elliott me!

Elliott Knock-knock #1

Knock knock
Who's there
Chicken
Chicken who
Chicken farmer

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Back stairs

Whenever Elliott wants to go downstairs he calls it "backstairs." He says, "Dad, carry hand backstairs."

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Super Elliott!

Yesterday Elliott was running around before his brothers went to school saying "Super Elliott! Da-ta-daaa!" I took him to his mom and brothers, he repeated it, and we all practically fell to the floor. So he went around all day repeating it.

When we went to my parents for Rosh Ha Shanah dinner, he refused to repeat! Today again, he was back to his super self. I guess Elliott has learned the value of not giving away his secret identity!

Now, who's going to be his sidekick?

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Elliott: Weggie and Fi

Of course every word we speak to the children has at least two syllables, the last one being "-ie" or "-ey".  Eggs are eggies.  Elliott pronounces it "weggie" (as in hard g's, not like veggie).  His favorite breakfast is eggs and toast - we buy a lot of Udi's gluten free breads.  We don't know why, but this has stuck for many months now, he calls bread fi.  As in fee, fi, fo, fum.  Fi.  Why?  The world may never know.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Ben, what did you get into? You stink!

While traveling on business today, I took the opportunity to call home during a lull. Rachel answered the phone. "Hi, how are you, I love you, I called to talk to mom." Rachel tells me that mom is busy cleaning up a mess that Ben and Jeremy made. They poured a bucket of pee on the air conditioner. Oh, I say, I'll call back later tonight!

So, about half an hour later Lisa calls me back at the desk (apparently caller ID worked), to which Randy (the guy I'm working with) says "Oh yeah, he's here, and he smells of pee." Hands me the phone.

Apparently, Ben came in complaining he got something in his eye. Yeah, when you pour liquid on a blowing AC unit, it blows the liquid around! Apparently, after teasing the story out, Jeremy and Ben thought it would be cool if they didn't take the time out of their busy outdoor life to come inside and go to the bathroom. So, they found a convenient play bucket, and have been collecting pee for a while.

I guess they eventually found a cool thing to do with it - pour it on the AC! Lisa, welcome to raising boys. But why do they do that? When I was a kid, I did innocent things like burning insects and writings into wood with a magnifying glass, blowing up things I found around the neighborhood with fire crackers, playing war with little 2x4 blocks of wood as guns, etc. Jeesh, what kids are like these days!

I hope they grow out of this pee phase real soon!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Do you want some beef turkey?

"Dad, are you eating beef turkey?" asks Ben. Yep, I made the jerky myself!

Don't eat Superman...and Batman...hey, not Green Lantern!

As a reprise of my earlier post, here Ben is 4 1/2 years old, and during those moments when he is fussy and doesn't want to eat, guess what still works? Yep - pretend each bite of the food is a superhero. We go through the Justice League. Superman is out for a fly, going to fight Lex Luthor, when suddenly - he gets swallowed by a kid! Batman hears about it and comes to his aid, but he is swallowed too!! Oh, no - who will protect the world from this new threat? Wonder Woman? No, her invisible jet and all. Hawk Girl? No way. The Martian? Gone. Aquaman? He's just seafood. Good thing the Justice League is so big - it's usually enough to finish the plate.

Dad, he's my Skunk Double

Just before school let out for the summer, we parents were invited to come in and see what our first-graders had been working on all year. We waded through a folder packed with math quizzes, writing assignments, spelling words, and art projects. We sat through a PowerPoint presentation the teachers had done, showing a picture slideshow set to music of those adorable kids at work. This had been an eventful year - the local news station had done a TV broadcast a few weeks before, because one of his classmate's community service project had been to adopt a unit in Iraq and send letters and care packages. At the end, my son drags on my hand, and wants to show me what he made on his locker. It's a trace cutout of his whole body, decorated in a 7-year-old's crayon creativity, and named with a silly relettering of his name. "Dad, he's my Skunk Double," he says. I could not hold back my smile, but it was all I could do to hold back my laughter. "What is he?" I asked, just to hear it again. He obliged. "Oh, that is a beautiful Skunk Double," I said in a voice shaking from suppressed laughter. Jeremy, you're the best!!!

A tomato is coming!

A couple of weeks ago, the skies were getting dark, and it started raining. Ben and Jeremy came running in from outside. Ben says "A tomato is coming!" all excited like. I smiled. He hates tomatoes! Well, the kind he was talking about, so do I - I had heard just a few minutes before there was a tornado watch for Oakland County.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I'm Batman

Elliott Emmanuel Imerman, born April 27, 2009 at 10:52 AM.  When we told big brother Benjamin, he said:
Ben: "I don't like the name Elliott."
Dan: "So what do you want to call him?"
Ben: "Um...Batman."
Dad: "OK, you can call him Batman."

Monday, December 24, 2007

Where are your imaginary friends?

The other night, as we were getting ready to read bed-time stories, I noticed that Jeremy had not played with his imaginary friends in a long time. Remember Jack, Julia, Jeremy, and of course Pal and Guys? So I asked him, "Jeremy, how come you haven't played with your imaginary friends in a long time?"

Jeremy: "Because they're on vacation."

Lisa and I tried hard not to laugh.

Jeremy: "They went to California. To see their cousin," he added. Well, there was no way we could hold it in then.

So, I just now got out the tub of Play Doh paraphernalia, and guess what? Jack is making things.

Me: "Jeremy, where did your imaginary friends go on vacation again?"

Jeremy: "They're back now."

Me: "Yeah, but where did they go?"

Jeremy: "California. To visit their cousin."

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Excuse me...

The other day, we are eating dinner, and Ben let out a burp. "Excuse me," he says, "I farted in my mouth!" They say wisdom comes from the mouths of babes - never more true than that day!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Rachel's Spiderman drawing for Jeremy

My WebShots cycles my desktop wallpaper every few minutes. So, look at what just came up! I had forgotten about this - sometime at the end of last year, Rachel had drawn a picture of Spiderman on a piece of paper for Jeremy, because she knew he loved Spiderman. I scanned in both the front & back.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Is it a boat? A car? A plane?

OK, so this one isn't really about the kids - but it is about being a kid at heart! This is not a plane, but I just took a ride in the sweetest vehicle I've seen in a long time. The Gibbs Aquada is expected to hit the US market in 2008, with a new manufacturing facility coming on line somewhere between Detroit and Toledo. I participated in a marketing study to help them understand the desires and needs of the American market, as well as where they should price it. It is awesome!

About 30 knots on the water, up to 100 MPH on land, and somewhere in the range of 22-28 miles per gallon is quite respectable. But then, they had to go and tell us it goes 0 to 60 in about 6-8 seconds. I don't think I would go grocery shopping (or to the hardware store) in it, but it sure is a lot of fun!

Monday, June 04, 2007

My Peepo

Ben: "I want Peepo."
Us: "OK, go get your pillow."
Ben goes & fetches a naked pillow.
Us: "Ben, where's your pillow case?"
Ben: "I took off baby suit." (translation: bathing suit)
Us: (Unprintable - laughing too hard!)